The cage felt like a cement-bottom glass coffin, with the tiniest of holes.
Just enough air to survive was able to get in. I could see the world passing by, but I couldn’t participate.
All I knew was that I had to keep proving myself.
Proving to the ghosts of my parents, proving to echoes of old fears, proving to anyone new who came into my life.
I was going to be prepared to show them just how competent — and perfect — and capable I was.
Admitting I didn't have the capacity to keep living the lie wasn’t an option.
Until it was the only option left.
Years of over-achieving and living in overwhelm caught up with me.
And none of my old tricks for stepping back into what I thought was my power worked.
No mindset work. No brilliant psych tool. No self-hypnosis or NLP.
Not even prayers.
I knew something different was calling me.
The frenzied cage didn't break because I 'fixed' something.
It was dismantled because the one performing to keep it up disappeared.